Good and Bad hair
We, as a people, really need to get off this one.
YES, I’m talking to African American people, since we are the main perpetrators of
this myth. With all the uproar over the use of the 'N' word or the
'B' word and how those words reinforce negative racial stereotypes,
people still have yet to realize that almost every African American
is responsible for personally reinforcing the same negative
stereotypes by telling
their children that they have 'good hair' or 'bad hair'.
For
those of you who don't know what I'm talking about... If you believe in this, you believe that
straight hair is 'good' to have and that nappy or curly hair is a
'bad' thing to have and then use these labels when referring to our
children as well as every person of African descent.
What this phrasing does is
degrade the self esteem of young
people of African descent from birth.
Just look at the words
good and bad and think of how we use them, then apply that to how one would think of their hair
if it is constantly referred to in this manner.
Bad: Evil, unfavorable, defective, of poor
standard, disobedient, poor condition
Good: desirable, excellent condition, high
quality, competent, attractive
Imagine
a child, limited in both vocabulary and life experiences, being told they have 'bad' hair.
As a child, you knew that bad behavior was not approved of and good
behavior was encouraged. So you grow up thinking a part of you is bad.
Fortunately, I was raised with enough positive reinforcement that I
knew that I wasn't 'bad' because my hair was nappy. This
phrasing did not affect me until I was an adult and I saw it
being used with other children. Following is a short story that demonstrates how this practice can
subtly affect our children as they grow up.
I have a friend who’s hair
is
nappy. He had two children, one had straight hair and one had nappy
hair. When we would go anywhere, people would single out the
straight-haired child, always speaking to him first and saying things like “look at that good hair” or “where’d he
get that all that good hair?”. The straight-haired child would smile, of
course. However, they would not immediately say a thing about (or to) the child with
the nappy hair. The most they might say to the kid with the nappy
hair, after their 'good hair' gushing, would be “whats up little man”. Imagine this
scenario over and over throughout the time these children grew up
together. One child thinking his hair is somehow better than
the other because everyone commented so positively about it. One child thinking his
hair is so sub-standard that it didn’t even warrant a comment.
This is what we
African American parents do to our
children everyday! We've all said it at some point in our lives.
Some of our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles have said it to us.
I’ve asked people why they don’t say
'nappy' instead
of 'bad'. They say “well nappy sounds so bad”. You mean more
bad than the
actual word bad? Nappy is an actual word…the definition is: having a
nap; fuzzy; kinky; frizzy. What’s so unpleasant about those words?
The definition of 'nappy' is a whole lot better than the definition of ‘bad’.
Imagine if someone used some of the other definitions for 'bad' to
describe your hair, in its natural state. Imagine if someone
called your hair 'defective'
or 'of poor condition'.
If you still can't grasp the concept, imagine if
people started referring to people of African descent's skin tone as ’bad’ (“you have that
bad skin”) and Caucasian or lighter skinned peoples skin as ‘good’. I guarantee,
if you had dark skin, you would
definitely
NOT like that.
As African
American parents
trying to raise our children with some sense of self-esteem, we really need
to eliminate the use of this phrasing in both our speech and thoughts.
Nappy should no
longer symbolize a negative self-image. Instead it should stand for
our proud heritage and strength.
