Good and Bad hair

We, as a people, really need to get off this one.  YES, I’m talking to African American people, since we are the main perpetrators of this myth.  With all the uproar over the use of the 'N' word or the 'B' word and how those words reinforce negative racial stereotypes, people still have yet to realize that almost every African American is responsible for personally reinforcing the same negative stereotypes by telling  their children that they have 'good hair' or 'bad hair'.

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about... If you believe in this, you believe that straight hair is 'good' to have and that nappy or curly hair is a 'bad' thing to have and then use these labels when referring to our children as well as every person of African descent.

What this phrasing does is degrade the self esteem of young people of African descent from birth.

Just look at the words good and bad and think of how we use them, then apply that to how one would think of their hair if it is constantly referred to in this manner.

Bad:  Evil, unfavorable, defective, of poor standard, disobedient, poor condition

Good:  desirable, excellent condition, high quality, competent, attractive

Imagine a child, limited in both vocabulary and life experiences, being told they have 'bad' hair.  As a child, you knew that bad behavior was not approved of and good behavior was encouraged.  So you grow up thinking a part of you is bad.

Fortunately, I was raised with enough positive reinforcement that I knew that I wasn't 'bad' because my hair was nappy.  This phrasing did not affect me until I was an adult and I saw it being used with other children.  Following is a short story that demonstrates how this practice can subtly affect our children as they grow up.

I have a friend whose hair is nappy.  He had two children, one had straight hair and one had nappy hair.  When we would go anywhere, people would single out the straight-haired child, always speaking to him first and saying things like “look at that good hair” or “where’d he get that all that good hair?”.  The straight-haired child would smile, of course.  However, they would not immediately say a thing about (or to) the child with the nappy hair.  The most they might say to the kid with the nappy hair, after their 'good hair' gushing, would be “whats up little man”.   Imagine this scenario over and over throughout the time these children grew up together.  One child thinking his hair is somehow better than the other because everyone commented so positively about it.  One child thinking his hair is so sub-standard that it didn’t even warrant a comment.

This is what we African American parents do to our children everyday!  We've all said it at some point in our lives.  Some of our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles have said it to us.

I’ve asked people why don't they just say 'nappy' instead of 'bad'. They say “nappy sounds so bad”.  You mean more bad than the actual word bad?  Nappy is an actual word…the definition is: having a nap; fuzzy; kinky; frizzy.  What’s so unpleasant about those words?  The definition of 'nappy' is a whole lot better than the definition of ‘bad’.

Imagine if someone used some of the other definitions for 'bad' to describe your hair, in its natural state.  Imagine if someone called your hair 'defective' or 'of poor condition'.

If you still can't grasp the concept, imagine if people started referring to people of African descent's skin tone as ’bad’ (“you have that bad skin”) and Caucasian or lighter skinned peoples skin as ‘good’.  I guarantee, if you had dark skin, you would definitely NOT like that. 

As African American parents trying to raise our children with some sense of self-esteem, we really need to eliminate the use of this phrasing in both our speech and thoughts.

Nappy should no longer symbolize a negative self-image.  Instead it should stand for our proud heritage and strength.